Once More With Feeling

The Renaissance of a Sutured Heart

Did you ever tell anyone about the second time you fell in love? The first is undoubtedly well-documented — howling cries of woe and tales of long, barely liveable acceptance. But what of the secret second coming? At first the turning tides feel much like drowning, unnervingly familiar and at odds with the thick armour of intuition. Yet suddenly eyes are open, seeing further and fairer than for many moons afore and since.

For the the most part, discretion is a decision made in fear. Fear of comparison, compromise and a sense of forced completion, tugging at the edge of reason as the heart finally sees a sign of spring after a long winter of discontent. Blooming petals feel foreign among decaying thorns, but rotten crops eventually turn to fertiliser and a new age of amore blossoms. While trust is weak, lust wraps like razor wire, cutting through cynicism and the sense of self-preservation with the conviction of naivety. A surreal resurgence of romantic idyll prevails, appearing as a lifeline in solitary fight with the inevitability of a lone existence.

Come the final lines of books, plays and films alike, brutal dejection in the presence of vulnerability is excused by the arrival of a rebound or regression, but it’s the songs of the broken hearted that speak of true chronology. As the final notes ring out, the one singing of misplaced affections is left alone with nothing but a short-lived echo, or worse, a fading melody. When the much-anticipated second single arrives, it speaks of a different narrative, not an uninterrupted journey from one love to another. A silent few second reflect months, if not years, of self-loathing, hollow growth and the sensational taste of untimely demise. When a suitor shows up for the sequel, the leading heart has learnt to love itself, guarding the doors to union with an electric charge.

Second time around, compatibility and longevity aren’t the revelation. Capability, however, kicks you hard in the chest with a heart-stopping thump. While the coupling might be doomed, as so often they are, the realisation that you can love again, can embrace infatuation without crippling doom, is the true romance of the tale.

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