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Servant Leadership and the Beauty of Failure

The following speech was given as the Keynote Address for the 2019 National Honors Society Induction Ceremony at Midland’s H.H. Dow High School

Thank you so much Mr. Frye for that introduction and for inviting me here tonight. And thank you students. It is one of the greatest honors of my year to be here with all of you and your parents.

Some of you may recognize my name from all those purple signs that popped up in your neighborhood last year. I have to tell you, it is pretty weird to suddenly see your name everywhere you look. You should try it some time. No, I’m not kidding. You should really try it.

Thankfully for you and me both I’m not here to talk about all of that specifically, I am here to talk about 2 important ideas — servant leadership and the beauty of failure.

In my day job, I am a human resources executive for an education based Non-profit called City Year. City Year is an organization that puts teams of young people not unlike yourselves into high-need schools all across the country for a rewarding year of service supporting students and the work of teachers. At its core, City Year leverages service to end the dropout crisis.

City Year and NHS have a lot in common but one thing that stands out for me tonight is service. Service to our neighbors, our schools, to our communities, to our nation and to each other.

I think sometimes when we think about service we usually think about a couple of specific different types of service:

Military Service

Public Service like police officers or firefighters

Community Service or maybe mandatory community service

But in addition to those obvious types of service, I think we can all serve every day in our positions as leaders right from the ground we are currently standing on — at our jobs, on our sports teams and clubs and even within our community and groups of friends. In fact, I think there is evidence of something called servant leadership all around us if we just look for it.

If you could, for a moment, close your eyes and picture a tree in your yard. If you don’t have a yard or a tree, picture a tree in your neighborhood. A specific tree, not just trees in general.

Make it a “worker” tree…not one planted in an ornamental garden or as part of a memorial…just a good sound, big tree.

Raise your hand if you have a tree in mind. Good. Now try to remember the last time you thought about that tree — the last time you were under it and stopped to look upward and really notice it.

Open your eyes.

I had a tree like that. It was a huge cottonwood tree on our family lake property. Its trunk was so large that 2 people couldn’t touch hands standing opposite each other. Its branches 3 sections up were the size of respectable trees themselves.

It was at least twice as tall as the houses around it. This tree was in my life my entire life. Standing tall without fanfare. A constant, unassuming actual force of nature. But a few summers ago we had to cut it down.

It wasn’t until the tree was removed that we realized the full impact it had on our lives and the volume of loss we would feel from its absence.

Right away, there was an incredible loss of shade and protection from the sun. The hammock we had strung between its trunk and another tree for years didn’t have a place anymore. We had to reinforce our seawall from the lake’s waves because the tree’s roots were no longer holding the ground together.

The grating sound of jet skies on summer weekends was louder, their rough-edged noise no longer softened by the peaceful sound of the wind in its leaves. The very air we breathed was just a little less clear and cleansing when it was gone.

I think “worker trees” are a perfect metaphor for Servant Leadership.

A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by the person at the top, servant leadership is different.

The servant puts the needs of others first, shares power and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

And I think we can all be that kind of leader every single day.

Be the kind of leader whose roots are deep and hold us together. Stand tall over those you are serving not to be seen but to provide protection and vision. Dampen the noise around those you serve so they can be focused and clear.

Be like the very air we breathe — noticed the most acutely when it is absent.

And, like the servant tree, a servant leader doesn’t ask to be recognized. A servant leader is not an ornamental lead. And, for a servant leader, like my servant tree, the true depths of their loss is not fully realized until they are gone.

About 5 years ago a person who was almost my friend passed away suddenly. Her name was Holli Wallace. We were on the road to friendship. I admired her greatly and thought we had a lot in common. She seemed to like me alright too. I thought we had all the time in the world to grow into true friends but it turns out we didn’t have very much time at all so we were only almost friends when she passed.

In 2014, Holli ran for school board over in Freeland and lost. I caught up with her after church right after the election to say I was sorry for the election results and she said “don’t be sorry. It was the most wonderful experience of my life.” And I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.

I had watched from afar and saw how hard she had worked on her campaign. I knew how much she wanted to win. And here she had lost her election and she was telling me it was the most wonderful experience she ever had and I was certain she was lying to me and to herself.

It was four years later that people started asking me to run for the Michigan State House. For 7 or 8 times when this happened, I quickly said no. I knew the odds were massively against me winning such an election.

This area hadn’t elected a progressive candidate like me or a woman at all in 98 years. I had never done anything like this before. The mountain to climb would be huge and the impact on my family would be tremendous. And, at the end of it all, I would probably lose — big time and in a very public way. Eight times I said — No way. Find someone else.

But, eventually, slowly, I thought of Holli. She was famous for ordering dessert first, always saying “life is uncertain — you have to go for it.” I thought about what she might be doing now in this political climate if she was alive and knew that she would be lighting up our corner of the world so brightly we would all know her name.

I asked myself if SHE would say no because there was almost no chance of winning and I knew the answer. She would have already jumped in and inspired all of us to go with her.

And, so, the 9th time someone asked me to run, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and said yes.

And, I lost. I failed. Even though my team and I couldn’t have worked harder, I failed. Publicly. I failed on the front page of the newspaper. I failed all over social media. I failed here in Midland and in Bay County and in Lansing. I failed right in front of 200 friends, family and community members gathered together to see me win on election night.

And, do you know what? It was the most wonderful experience of my life. It was wonderful in so many many many ways that we just don’t have the time and I don’t have the words to describe it tonight.

About 3 weeks ago I was helping my 5th-grade daughter Eleanor comb out a bad knot in her hair and we were talking about election night. I asked her if she was still sad that we lost and she said “no, mom. Your speech was great that night and you’ll try again to do that or something else. It doesn’t matter if you lost, you just gotta learn and keep going no matter what. Can I have some ice cream?”

And, there you go.

I’ve spent most of my 42 years of life avoiding anything that I wasn’t 100% certain I could succeed at. And, here’s my daughter learning about the beauty of failure at age 11.

I hope it means that, when the time comes, it won’t take her 9 times to say yes to whatever opportunity she is presented with or she creates for herself.

I’m madly grateful that I had Holli in my life for the little bit of her light she gave me in our short time together.

She taught me to try even, maybe especially, if I think I’ll fail and she taught me never to wait again to make a true friend. She was a true servant leader and an inspiration and I try to do my bit to honor her whenever I can.

So, I hope you leave this room tonight and spend a few moments thinking about my friend Holli and the beauty of failure. I hope some warm day this spring you stop under your tree and reflect for a moment about servant leadership.

And I hope you try the big scary things, and you try even when failure is most imminent because in the attempt you tend the soil, like my almost friend Holli did for me, making it that much easier next time for you and those around you to take root, and thrive.

Thank you so much for allowing me to spend some time with all of you tonight.

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