Being Butch in Missouri

Being a butch woman in Missouri has been challenging, but also rewarding. Missouri is a conservative state that can be hostile towards people that don’t conform to traditional gender roles. However, there are many vibrant LGBTQ+ communities in Missouri that offer support and solidarity to those of us who identify as butch.

Defining Butch

Before we delve into the experience of being a butch woman in Missouri, let’s define what we mean by “butch.” Butch is a term that is often used to describe women who identify as more masculine or masculine-of-center. Butch women may present themselves in a variety of ways, from short haircuts and men’s clothing to more subtle expressions of masculinity. Being butch is not the same as being a trans man or a lesbian, although many butch women do identify as either or both.

I personally identify as a nonbinary butch, but for others they might identify it differently.

Challenges

Being a butch woman in Missouri can come with its fair share of challenges. As mentioned earlier, Missouri is a conservative state that can be hostile towards those who do not conform to traditional gender roles. Butch women may face discrimination, harassment, or violence from others who do not understand or accept their gender expression.

Moreover, butch women sometimes face challenges in finding employment, housing, or healthcare. In some cases, employers or landlords may discriminate against butch women based on their gender expression. At work, I’ve been met with terrible questions about my nonbinary identity which has made me feeL uncomfortable and when I confronted my boss about calling my projects little he became livid once. And in healthcare settings, butch women may encounter medical professionals who are unfamiliar with or unsupportive of their gender identity. My providers often refuse to talk to me about alternatives based on my nonbinary status or share all the details.

What have been your challenges?

Community

Despite the challenges, there are many vibrant LGBTQ+ communities in Missouri that offer support and solidarity to butch women. Cities like Kansas City, St. Louis, and Columbia have thriving LGBTQ+ scenes that host events, organizations, and resources for LGBTQ+ people.

These communities can provide butch women with a sense of belonging and support, as well as opportunities to connect with other LGBTQ+ people who understand their experiences. From social events and support groups to advocacy organizations and healthcare providers, these communities can offer a range of resources and services that can make the experience of being a butch woman in Missouri more positive and affirming.

For me personally, I have found spaces at Metropolitan Community Church in St. Louis. Apps like Her and Facebook dating have allowed me to meet new people in the surrounding areas and opened up Columbia for me. I also have connection points through Facebook groups and meetups. I’m hoping in the following year I can go to these events now that I don’t work in the evenings.

Celebrating Butchness

Finally, it’s important to celebrate butchness and to resist the negative attitudes and stereotypes that can surround butch women. Butch women are an important and valuable part of the LGBTQ+ community, and their gender expression should be celebrated and respected.

Whether it’s through fashion, activism, or simply being true to oneself, butch women in Missouri and beyond can find ways to express and celebrate their butchness. By doing so, they can help to break down the barriers and stigmas that can prevent butch women from living their lives to the fullest.

Being a butch woman in Missouri can be both challenging and rewarding. While there may be challenges associated with being a gender non-conforming person in a conservative state, there are also many vibrant LGBTQ+ communities in Missouri that can provide support and solidarity to butch women. By celebrating butchness and resisting negative attitudes and stereotypes, butch women can help to create a more accepting and affirming world for all people.

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